The Love Letter

Stop and look around you. There are people you are taking for granted. Do they Really know how you feel about them? Hopefully your family does but what about friends and people who have influenced you?

Recently I reconnected with an amazing woman who helped me through my battle with breast cancer. It has been more than a year since we talked and even then it was brief. Sure time flies but relationships are important and people are important. This woman has been battling metastatic cancer for  more than a dozen years. At the same time she's been empowering others through information, support groups, fundraising - whatever it takes. And I got "busy"?

When I called her I asked the proverbial question "How are you?" and received the non-proverbial answer "Not well at all." That will set you back on your heels and make you take notice. Her cancer has now spread to her brain and, after an intensive radiation session, she's waiting to learn if she's going to live or die. Let me be clear, this woman does not give up and neither do I.

After rocking back on my heels, I realized that  it was important I share with her the impact she's had on so many lives. So I wrote her a love letter. Is there anyone who needs a love letter from you? If so, stop reading this and start writing. We can't predict the future and I don't want you to be a member of the "If only" Club.

The Torture of Waiting

A local Christian radio host is waiting to find out if he has Lymphoma. He's been waiting three weeks and, like most of us, waiting isn't his forte. Here's my advice to him and any of you who may be waiting for your test results:


Waiting is harder than a definite yes or no. If you hear "no, it's not cancer" the relief is palpable. If you hear "yes, you have cancer" you can begin to fight and amass your prayer warriors. Waiting is, well, just waiting and worrying. I could advise you to put it in God's hands but you already know that's where it is. I could tell you that if you do have cancer that it can be curable but you still have to go through it. I could tell you that if you do not have cancer you will have more empathy for those who do but you already have empathy. Instead, the only thing I can tell you is that - just as all of us should - your task is to fully embrace life and your loved ones while you wait. God and the prayer warriors will do the rest.

Thank You Betty Ford!

In the midst of the Pinkest month of the year, let’s take a moment to thank Betty Ford.

In 1974, one month after becoming First Lady, Betty Ford was diagnosed with breast cancer and underwent a mastectomy. At the time, breast cancer was the leading killer of women 40-45 yet less than half were having regular exams. In fact, breast cancer wasn’t even discussed. The media wouldn’t print or say the words breast cancer; it was called “female cancer.”

Betty Ford changed that by publicly sharing her journey with breast cancer with Time Magazine. Doctors report that “almost immediately” after Betty Ford’s interview there was an increase in women scheduling mammograms and conducting self exams. They dubbed this the “Betty Ford blip.”

It was her courage that empowered women to be proactive about their breast health. So the next time you schedule a mammogram, walk for the cure, or pin on a pink ribbon - take a moment to thank Betty Ford.

Keeping Up With Technology

RIP Steve Jobs.

Few people in the world are unaffected by the death of 56 year-old technology guru Steve Jobs. His genius has changed our world, inspired generations of young people and given us all a rare glimpse at what is possible if you ignore conventions.

Some important messages that Steve Jobs shared during his 2005 commencement speech at Stanford will surely resonate including:

• Learn What Interests You and Eventually It Will Also Be Useful
• Great Work is a Result of Loving What You Do
• Stay Hungry, Stay Foolish
• Death is Life's Change Agent

There are so many messages in Steve Jobs life and so many quotable truisms. You have them too, as a survivor. Share with us what  you've learned as soon as you set aside the tissue box. What a tremendous loss. Let's see how we can best honor his creative and loving legacy!

Happy Life to all you Trendsetters!

One thing I learned during my adventure with breast cancer is that first-hand knowledge trumps fear every time. My Breast Cancer Support Group taught me this lesson over and over again. Through their example, I have been able to offer support to young women who have been diagnosed with cancer. I'll receive phone calls and emails full of fear. I start at the beginning and talk them through their situation.

One woman really surprised me. She had leukemia. When she heard that I had breast cancer she responded "Oh, that's become practically trendy!" I could only laugh. Trendy? Like those uncomfortable wedge shoes that always caused me to twist my ankle? Or perhaps the big hair of the 80's? No thank you, that's not the kind of trend I want any part of. Let's start the Surviving and Thriving trend!

So to all you trendsetters out there - Happy Breast Cancer Awareness Month and Happy Life!

Grateful for .....

On this Earth Day, I'm grateful for ... well, all of it. I live on a gorgeous planet, in a free country, surrounded by people who care, and again this year I'm cancer free. What? You say the economy is bad, politics has gotten out of hand, and people all over the world are suffering. Of course you're right but so am I.

Can we agree that we live in a complicated world of beauty and challenge? Great. So the first thing we've agreed on is that We Live - at least until we die. Environmentalists tell us to tread lightly and leave only bubbles. In context, that's completely right but don't apply that to your life. Leave a legacy that includes visiting as much of this gorgeous planet as possible; exercising your freedom; and caring for the neighbors you know and those you don't. If you do this, you may see small improvements in the economy, politics and suffering. If we all do this, maybe the media will run out of bad news. It's a worthy goal.

In the meantime, celebrate Earth Day with me by looking at some of our planet's beauty.

If The Genie Asks

The brown serious nuns did not protect me from the middle school bullies. In fact, I think they made matters worse. In any case, middle school was - for me and many of us - a truly unhappy time. However, much like living through cancer, middle school strengthened me, shaped my personality and caused me to lose my hair. It's true about the hair but that's another story.

As a result of being fired in the middle school kiln, I entered high school with a different attitude. I would no longer be bullied. I didn't even realize I had this new "take no guff" attitude until a girl in the high school restroom tried to rob me and a new friend.

"Are you kidding? You obviously don't know who you're messing with," I said in a clear, calm voice as I began to back the would-be bathroom felon toward the door. "I'll give you one chance to get out of here or I wouldn't want to be you." She turn and fled in terror. My new friend looked at me like I was an alien and perhaps I was but I knew in that moment that I was a new person.

I only attended that particular high school for one year but I owe them a lot. As a result of my new attitude I shed my previously shy approach and began meeting people with a new confidence. I performed in school plays and competed in Original Comedy through the Drama Club. My best performance remains the one in the bathroom.

I share this story because I've been invited back to that high school for Career Day. I think I'll visit that particular bathroom. If I should meet a genie there who offers me a choice between reliving middle school or being diagnosed with cancer again, which fire should I choose?