Thank You Betty Ford!

In the midst of the Pinkest month of the year, let’s take a moment to thank Betty Ford.

In 1974, one month after becoming First Lady, Betty Ford was diagnosed with breast cancer and underwent a mastectomy. At the time, breast cancer was the leading killer of women 40-45 yet less than half were having regular exams. In fact, breast cancer wasn’t even discussed. The media wouldn’t print or say the words breast cancer; it was called “female cancer.”

Betty Ford changed that by publicly sharing her journey with breast cancer with Time Magazine. Doctors report that “almost immediately” after Betty Ford’s interview there was an increase in women scheduling mammograms and conducting self exams. They dubbed this the “Betty Ford blip.”

It was her courage that empowered women to be proactive about their breast health. So the next time you schedule a mammogram, walk for the cure, or pin on a pink ribbon - take a moment to thank Betty Ford.

Remembering Mom

Eighteen years ago today your pain ended. We had two months to say goodbye - a luxury that many don't have. It was a sweet time with a lot of visitors, much laughing, many memories and a few tears. Today there are still memories and a few tears. Mostly there is gratitude for the chance to say goodbye.

Celebration of Life

Spring makes me giddy. The renewal of life is so powerful whether you're in the garden or simply sitting quietly contemplating the past. So many breast cancer survivors have told me how important connecting with nature has become to them. I have to agree. Being one with nature, especially in the Spring, feels like attending a celebration of life.

Today I celebrate those friends and family who have faced a crisis and emerged stronger and more centered. Who will you celebrate?

My Angry Valentine

Mom was angry. Everything about her cancer made her mad - especially the color Pink! "I'm not fighting the brave fight" she'd proclaim. "I am an unwilling participant and I will not be defined by cancer."

One thing she did like was gifts. No matter the occasion, she wanted gifts. That made her first Valentines Day with cancer rather tricky. I knew this year's gift had to carefully avoid the colors, emotions and symbols of cancer. Yet, I wanted to give her something special that would remind her how much I loved her. My solution was to think like a mom. What she really wanted was exactly what I had to give - a daughter's love.

When she opened my gift, she burst into tears. "This is so special, thank you." I had given her my heart.

Seasonal Gratitude

Holiday music is playing, cookies are baking, decorations are hung by the chimney with care. It's a season for gratitude. To cancer survivors, every day is a season for gratitude. What a great side effect!

I just read the latest post by Jackie Fox at Dispatch from Second Base. She offers five reasons she's thankful for Breast Cancer. What are your reasons?

What, Me Worry?

We're born with only two fears: the fear of falling and loud noises. All others are learned. It's also been said that 90% of what we worry about never happens. Why then are so many of us plagued with fears, worries and all types of unimaginable stresses? And why can't these happy little facts simply wipe out our fears and worries?

I've been thinking about this quite a bit lately. I know that worry isn't good for anyone and yet it's socially acceptable. As a survivor - either of cancer or anything else severe - you often hear "I just couldn't do that." Pre-cancer you may have even said that yourself but now you know that you can. It's empowering isn't it?

So the next time one of those fears or worries sneak up on you and you're tempted to say "Oh, I just couldn't deal with that," pull out your secret weapon. Look fear in the face and say "Yes, I can because I already have."

Riding My Tricycle

Do you remember Artie Johnson? Sometimes I feel like him. I'm riding my tricycle, all is well and then - out of the blue - something knocks me over. Cancer and the threat of metastatic disease can do that. What should we do?

I talked with a wise man recently and the answer is deceptively simple and amazingly hard at the same time. You can choose to tell your story based on the times you've been knocked over or the times you've been riding your tricycle.

Keep on pedaling and smiling ladies!

Second Time Around

I received a call from a friend. "Carol I need another copy of the book. My friend is facing her second bout with Breast Cancer." Then I received a link to the blog "Life's Funny Like That." The top story is about Mary, who's facing Breast Cancer for the second time. Whoa! That will give a survivor pause.

So let's pause for a moment ladies. Step away from the computer - the vacuum or whatever task you're engaged in and take a moment to celebrate your life.

The Shortest Distance Between Two Points

So often we shake our heads or our fists, wondering what’s wrong with God. We’ve asked him for help - to take away some pain or to help us achieve a goal - and yet the opposite has happened.

“Lord,” I prayed “please let this lump be benign.” Then I was told “You have Stage 3 Breast Cancer.”

Wait a minute here, I asked God for help. I had been clear and it was a straight line between me and health. This shouldn't be hard for him. After all, God had cured a lot of people and brought some back from the dead. Even the Cancer Centers of America can’t do that! So what had happened? Was his Prayer Mail Box full? Why didn’t he answer my prayer?

Now as I look back from the perspective of several years, I see the flaws in my thinking . First, prayers were answered. Taking the journey through cancer, I received gifts along the way. I learned new coping skills, deepened some relationships, began new friendships, and had the opportunity to help people.

Second, and maybe most importantly, there was a flaw with my geometry. I believed that I was the first point along the route - that I was at the center of the universe. Now when I pray, I remind myself of three things:

• The shortest distance between two points is a straight line
• There are gifts and answered prayers along that line
• The point in the middle isn’t me

Digging for a Cure

It's officially Spring. For those of you in the Midwest and Northern climates, you know this is a time of miracles. Trees are beginning to bud and bloom, bulbs are emerging and everything smells better.

For those of us who are Cancer Survivors, this time of miracles is all the more poignant. I've talked with many women who tell me that post-Cancer, gardening has become almost an obsession. Everything is better when we're on our knees, face to face with some good black dirt, and welcoming a fragile plant into the world. Why do you think that is?

Book Signings

Hi friends:

I am scheduling several more book signings. If you have a cancer-related fundraiser, let me know.

Friday, July 25 - - Relay for Life of North Naperville/Lisle. 20% of all proceeds will be donated to the Relay for Life of North Naperville/Lisle.

August 9 - - Lombard

October 3 - - Gallery 510 in Decatur

Past Events

Sunday, June 22 - - Wind Water & Light Gallery, Downtown Champaign from 1-3 p.m.

Support Groups

Empowerment, Information and Cookies
Whenever someone mentioned a Support Group, I envisioned distraught, sobbing people. With that image in mind, you can imagine my reluctance when, after being diagnosed with breast cancer, my husband suggested we find a Support Group. This is one discussion I'm glad I lost.

When we went to our first meeting of the Christie Clinic Breast Cancer Support Group, I was immediately struck by the attitude of empowerment. There was no complaining. There was discussion and leading edge information. There was no sobbing. There were questions and practical answers. And, there were cookies.

"My sister refused to go to a Support Group after her diagnosis. As a result, she had trouble coping” said Barbara Godsell. "I thought - not me! This group helped take away my fears when I was diagnosed. It's not a pity group; it's uplifting."

Lorie Hatfield had never met anyone with breast cancer until she was diagnosed. She was under 40 and hesitant to go to a Support Group because of her age. She thought no one would understand but, at the urging of a nurse, she gave it a try. "I was the youngest but I found out that everyone's situation was similar. I didn't feel so alone."

My husband was smart enough to get us to the Support Group while we were still in the decision making process. That made all the difference. I didn't realize all the choices that had to be made. The group provided great advice. I can't tell you how comforting it is to go into a surgical situation trusting your decision. Mary Claire Smith agrees. "The minute you're diagnosed, before you make any decisions, you should come to the Support Group. This group taught me to be my own advocate."

It's also the best place to gather information. Each month we have a speaker or a discussion where we hear:

• The newest techniques and technologies
• The latest research results and clinical studies
• Practical advice for pre- and post-surgery
• Personal tips for feeling and looking our best
• How to help others cope with diagnosis for themselves and their loved ones

Six years after being diagnosed, Lorie still attends the monthly meetings. "I continue learning and now I'm the one providing the support."

'There's a comradery, a sistership" interjected Mary Claire. And yes, we have cookies.

These Are Our Stories

What is the cure for cancer? Life. That’s right, life. Filled to the brim with laughter, tears, courage and more laughter. Adventures in Breast Cancer contains a full dose of life and is sure to bring relief to cancer patients, their friends and families.

Adventures in Breast Cancer incorporates stories from the experiences of many cancer patients and care providers. Readers are invited to join in an irreverent journey covering diagnosis, surgery, treatment and recovery. They will learn what to expect, the questions to ask and how to cope using the power of laughter. Journal pages are provided so that readers can record their own journey.

Do you have a story you'd like to share?