Summertime

"Summertime and the living is easy." Or so the song goes. For those of us with hot flashes, summer can find us peeling off clothes faster than a Las Vegas stripper. When the man in bed with you says "You're hot!" this is not a compliment. It's code for "move over, your body's become a radiator - again."

It's true, a hot flash raises your skin temperature 4-8 degrees - Instantly. Suddenly you find your cheeks rosy, you're glistening and everyone is plotting to use you as the S'more maker at the next cookout.

My solution, buy yourself a convertible with a great air conditioning system. You deserve it baby cause you're hot!

Celebration of Life

Spring makes me giddy. The renewal of life is so powerful whether you're in the garden or simply sitting quietly contemplating the past. So many breast cancer survivors have told me how important connecting with nature has become to them. I have to agree. Being one with nature, especially in the Spring, feels like attending a celebration of life.

Today I celebrate those friends and family who have faced a crisis and emerged stronger and more centered. Who will you celebrate?

My Angry Valentine

Mom was angry. Everything about her cancer made her mad - especially the color Pink! "I'm not fighting the brave fight" she'd proclaim. "I am an unwilling participant and I will not be defined by cancer."

One thing she did like was gifts. No matter the occasion, she wanted gifts. That made her first Valentines Day with cancer rather tricky. I knew this year's gift had to carefully avoid the colors, emotions and symbols of cancer. Yet, I wanted to give her something special that would remind her how much I loved her. My solution was to think like a mom. What she really wanted was exactly what I had to give - a daughter's love.

When she opened my gift, she burst into tears. "This is so special, thank you." I had given her my heart.

Seasonal Gratitude

Holiday music is playing, cookies are baking, decorations are hung by the chimney with care. It's a season for gratitude. To cancer survivors, every day is a season for gratitude. What a great side effect!

I just read the latest post by Jackie Fox at Dispatch from Second Base. She offers five reasons she's thankful for Breast Cancer. What are your reasons?

What, Me Worry?

We're born with only two fears: the fear of falling and loud noises. All others are learned. It's also been said that 90% of what we worry about never happens. Why then are so many of us plagued with fears, worries and all types of unimaginable stresses? And why can't these happy little facts simply wipe out our fears and worries?

I've been thinking about this quite a bit lately. I know that worry isn't good for anyone and yet it's socially acceptable. As a survivor - either of cancer or anything else severe - you often hear "I just couldn't do that." Pre-cancer you may have even said that yourself but now you know that you can. It's empowering isn't it?

So the next time one of those fears or worries sneak up on you and you're tempted to say "Oh, I just couldn't deal with that," pull out your secret weapon. Look fear in the face and say "Yes, I can because I already have."

Riding My Tricycle

Do you remember Artie Johnson? Sometimes I feel like him. I'm riding my tricycle, all is well and then - out of the blue - something knocks me over. Cancer and the threat of metastatic disease can do that. What should we do?

I talked with a wise man recently and the answer is deceptively simple and amazingly hard at the same time. You can choose to tell your story based on the times you've been knocked over or the times you've been riding your tricycle.

Keep on pedaling and smiling ladies!

Quote of The Day

"I can't go back to yesterday - because I was a different person then."
- Lewis Carroll

Out of challenges comes strength. Whether you're dealing with health problems, relationship issues or the current economic downturn, you can find yourself wondering what you can possibly do to get back to yesterday. The bad news is that you can't. Sometimes, that's also the good news.

The reality is that you can't change circumstances, you can only change how you react to them. Don't you just want to slap whoever came up with that? Yeah, me too, but it's true so let's explore some coping mechanisms.

There's Always Chocolate
Everyone slams the media for only reporting bad news but they deserve a Pulitzer for letting us know that dark chocolate and red wine are actually good for us. Now if they'd throw in some butter, potato chips and peppermint ice cream, they might qualify for sainthood.

Name It
Strangely enough, simply putting a name to your feelings can help you cope. Psychologists will tell you to name your feelings - Anger, Fear, Hopelessness - and it helps. While that's true, if certain feelings are regular visitors you might consider giving them more personal names like Ralph, Joe and Trevor.

Exercise Creates Endorphins
The research is clear - exercise creates endorphins which make you feel better. Did you know there are other ways to create endorphins? Rather than sweating on the treadmill you could fall in love and/or have sex. If you're relationship adverse you might consider eating spicy foods like hot peppers, horseradish and wasabi. Laughter can do it, too and it's good for your stomach muscles. Oh yeah, and did I mention Chocolate? There's always chocolate!